Wayne’s Articles 3: Things Are Not Always As They Seem

As we age, it appears that our moods, tolerances, and preferences fluctuate frequently. Reflecting on just the past two decades, I often reflect on how my reactions to life’s events have changed. One area where I’ve noticed this most is driving. However, it’s probably the one trait that has taken me the longest to adopt a more positive outlook on. For most of my driving experiences, I was angry, frustrated, and annoyed with other motorists. But as I’ve become accustomed to minor changes in people’s attitudes towards their fellow motorists, I’ve found myself being far more sympathetic. I find myself pondering the reasons behind someone pulling out in front of me. Instead of fixating solely on their poor driving, which has compelled me to slow down, I now consider the possibility that they might be rushing to a destination. Similarly, if I’m stuck behind a slow-moving vehicle, I can’t help but wonder if they’ve recently been involved in an accident and are only now regaining their confidence behind the wheel. Alternatively, they might have recently removed their P plates but are still gaining experience and confidence. Perhaps this is their first solo drive without a chaperone.

Whenever I encounter a fellow motorist driving recklessly and at high speed, I can’t help but pause and wonder if their partner might be in the hospital, possibly in labour or facing a more urgent medical situation.

Another instance occurred while I was driving. I pulled out of a side turning in front of someone. It was because I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should have been, and my mind simply assumed that another motorist was far away. He was furious, but when I turned on my LED sign to apologise, I saw his face in the rearview mirror. He instantly calmed down and realised that I genuinely wasn’t trying to be ahead of him, and my apology had an immediate effect.

So, why am I being more considerate now? I’m developing the same skill set when shopping in supermarkets, walking past someone on a narrow pavement, or dealing with a child having a loud tantrum. However, I haven’t yet managed to channel my anger during a neighbour’s barbecue or inconsiderate noise and music blasting at maximum volume from a car waiting to pull out of the turning at the end of our road.

My most recent experience of giving a moment’s thought to a given scenario occurred when I tried to reacquaint myself with a family member I hadn’t spoken with them in almost a year. Despite the calmness of our temperament, neither of us made any effort to rekindle our communication. Then, an opportunity arose, and I seized it. However, their lack of effort and enthusiasm was truly noticeable. As quickly as I was irritated by it, I paused to consider the possibility that they might be going through a difficult time in their life and struggling to prioritise. Instead of being selfish, as I might have done in my younger years, I decided to leave the matter alone and make an exception for a later time.

So, my conclusion? Give people a chance. Not everyone intends to show the reaction that you are receiving.